The full range of Feminine expression

The last day of 2025 marked the end of @desireonfire, a women’s healing space, as it closes down after almost a decade of service.

@elliemontgomerie and @aimeebatuski created something truly profound and I want to share a story in honor of celebrating its life.

I’ve had the privilege of serving in the community, supporting in the background, and a few times as a facilitator.

There’s one particular time that had a huge impact on me as a man.

It’s quite hard to put into words, but I’ll give it a try.

Back in 2022, Victoria and I were invited to facilitate at one of their retreats in Ojai, CA.

We led a session where each woman embodied her rage, her grief, her pain towards the masculine, with me being on the receiving end as a conduit of the Masculine.

And these women gave it all.

All 30 of them, including their whole team.

It was the full range of feminine expression.

What impacted me deeply was that as each woman shared from her deepest well, it became so clear to me that there was nothing I could do about their experiences.

Of course, I had no personal stake in any of these women’s lives; nothing was personally about me.

And yet, I could so easily see where I would have tried to comfort her, tell her something to make it all alright, try to resolve it somehow.

I realized that if I in any way tried to comfort them with a look, a facial expression, even energetically, I would take away from their healing, not add to it.

It would have taken the attention off her and put it on me.

Instead, I did my best to stay with her, fully witnessing, as present to her expressions as possible, taking her in without taking her on.

And it was enough.

In fact, by doing “nothing,” I was doing everything.

I had known this in theory, but now I got to experience it, woman by woman.

I remember my mind being so clear and focused, while my body experienced trembling, tears, heat, and cold.

True essence of embodiment 🙂

I want to add that there is, of course, a place for comforting.

But not in that moment, and more often than not, it’s not the case.

Thank you, Ellie and Aimee, for trusting and inviting me into such a sacred space for women’s healing.

I don’t take that lightly.

Warmly,

Anders