We don’t live in a patriarchy

We live in a boytriarchy: a culture run by uninitiated men hoarding power, driven by ego, fear, and image.

Reading Iron John gave me a much-needed perspective.

I’ve felt for a long time that the blame placed on “the patriarchy” for the current failure of our culture didn’t quite ring true.

Bly reminds us that true patriarchy—before it was distorted—was rooted in maturity, initiation, and blessing.

Elders led. Kings served. Fathers guided.

That structure is gone.

And in its place, we’ve got hierarchy without soul—systems that keep men stuck as boys, and everyone else paying the price.

Bly argues that real patriarchy (and matriarchy) didn’t die because of feminism, but because of industrialization. In factories and offices, the elder disappeared. The manager replaced the father. Work and money replaced initiation.

So let’s stop calling this mess “patriarchy.”

It’s not. It’s the boytriarchy.

And it’s time we outgrow it.

What do you think? Do you agree? I’d love to hear perspectives on this view.